Running in Place: Finding Strength in the Stillness.

Do you ever feel like you're just running in place sometimes while you're looking around and watching other's jog right past you..? or maybe even sprinting right past you??

That is quite literally how I have been feeling recently, so, If you feel this way just know that you are NOT alone.

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Recently, I have felt like there has been so much going on in my life that it has been hard to slow down. The only down time I have is when I'm asleep, and even then my mind is running like crazy. I mean, here I am at 5 am writing this blog because I woke up and could not go back to sleep.

Life has been interesting to say the least. I feel very different than the person that I was a year ago. I'm the same, but I am so different. Sometimes I think that I miss the person I was before all of these obstacles that have been thrown my way. She was less guarded, less cautious, more carefree, more free to give her love so openly to others. Now? Now I feel like I have been so drained that it's hard to be that person anymore.

I'm still these things just... less? I've been wondering how to even get back to that after everything?

I had a good friend tell me a few months ago that the way I loved others was something different. That it was more like a gift that God had blessed me with because not many people can just genuinely love and care for people the way I do so freely and willingly. Unconditionally. She told me not to let the world harden my heart, but to let the experiences soften my soul. To see that how people treat others are not a reflection of that person, but a reflection of the individual doing the action. And I do believe this.

I feel like there isn't enough love going around anymore. Everyone judges so freely before even knowing what might be going on in someone's life or even in their mind. People are so quick to jump to their own conclusions before knowing any form of the truth. And, unfortunately, it seems like hating has become a whole lot easier than loving and lifting others up. I wonder why that is? Should we blame social media? Or the character of our own hearts?

I don't ever want to be the sheep that follows that type of crowd.

I think it is so important to love on others so genuinely and deeply. Not because you know it might make you feel good or look good, but simply because this is what we are supposed to do. Why would you not want to make someone's day lighter?

One thing I have been doing this past year or so is trying to tell people what i am thinking more instead of keeping it to myself. For example, if I think someone's eyes are stunning, I tell them. If I like their smile, I tell them. If they have a cool hat on, I tell them.

I feel like so many times things go unspoken because people don't want to get looked at sideways, but who cares? Go ahead and look! But if you could make someone's day just a little better why wouldn't you?

I want to be the person that does these things. I want to be the person that my friend told me I was and not let certain circumstances that I have been put in harden me from the world. It's difficult to navigate, honestly. Because to tell you the truth, now, when I find myself feeling something again, I've just been running away from it or turning cold. I know it's just a way to protect myself, but still. Why would I not embrace these feelings instead of running away from them or shutting them off entirely and just walking away? It may be the safer option, but it might also be the loneliest.

Make sure to try your best to embrace the good that pops into your life. Whether it is for a short time or forever! These big or small moments are gifts. Keep them safe. And Keep going. Keep pushing through.

Things will get better and will get easier :)

Stay Radiant!!